Month: October 2016

We live in interesting times. Marauding packs of malevolent scary clowns roam the streets for no particular reason. Players of Pokémon Go are in plague proportions and keep trying to convince me that my dog is, in fact, a highly sought after Pokémon. Temperatures and sea levels are rising, the apocalypse edges ever closer and ‘MacGyver’ has been remade for television without the key ingredient that made the original series such a success; namely Richard Dean Anderson’s mullet. Oh, and Bob Dylan has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature.
Continue reading “It’s All Nobel Now, Baby Blue”

The moment I enter, I know I don’t belong. Having spent the morning shopping with my nephew we arrive in Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, with plastic bags hanging like Christmas ornaments from our wrists. Unwittingly, we have stumbled upon the epicenter of the hipster universe; a place where facial piercings are deliberate as opposed to the legacy of some tragic industrial accident, where man buns roam free. I look hopelessly lost. But, for better or worse, this is the place we’ve agreed to meet friends for lunch.
Continue reading “Close Encounters of the Rock Star Kind”

Thanks goodness that’s over. Goodbye to my least favourite night of the year and the dreadful week that inevitably follows in its wake. Farewell for another twelve months when it will, once more, lob upon the doorstep like a marooned but distantly related backpacker determined to move in and devour the contents of the refrigerator wholesale. But for now I must suffer through the consequences of its most unwelcome arrival. Truth be told, I’m tired, grumpy and for this entire week have felt as though I’m running late. Thanks for nothing, daylight savings.
Continue reading “Frightening the Daylight Savings Out of Me”

It’s coming. As surely as Christmas, Sam & Dave, your in-laws and the scratch at the back of your throat that you just know is going to turn into a fully fledged gargantuan head cold; its arrival is both imminent and inevitable. There’s little that any of us can do other than to switch off the lights, barricade the doors and hope against hope for the best. Try as we might, some things can’t be stopped. Deny it all you like, but the zombie apocalypse is on its way, ready or not.
Continue reading “Practical Tips for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse”