Reasons Kanye West would be a Better President than Donald Trump

Maybe it was just something he said. And, to be fair, he says a lot of things. Given the volume, it’s inevitable that some promises will fall by the wayside. At the time the fateful words were uttered, he probably meant it was something he’d get around to in the distant future, never dreaming that the conditions would conspire such that his time might, in fact, be right now. Granted, he’s got a new album to support and a young family, but he needs to look at the bigger picture. Having said he wants to be President the simple fact is this: Kanye West – your country needs you.

Maybe it was just something he said. And, to be fair, he says a lot of things. Given the volume, it’s inevitable that some promises will fall by the wayside. At the time the fateful words were uttered, he probably meant it was something he’d get around to in the distant future, never dreaming that the conditions would conspire such that his time might, in fact, be right now. Granted, he’s got a new album to support and a young family, but he needs to look at the bigger picture. Having said he wants to be President the simple fact is this: Kanye West – your country needs you.

I know little about American politics. And what I do know I learned from repeated viewings of House of Cards as opposed to any (for want of a better term) actual study. Interest in this year’s primary season has been especially heightened, and not just because some of us have to fill a The West Wing-shaped void in our souls. Once, the idea that Kanye could be President was on par with suggesting that either Hootie or the Blowfish ought to be Secretary of State. But things have changed. I doubt Kanye West is a Republican, but it appears now that not being a Republican is no longer the impediment to being the Republican nominee it used to be.

I don’t pretend to understand the Donald Trump phenomenon. To the untrained observer he seems brash, rude and (frankly speaking) kind of stupid. Worst of all, these are the key elements of his appeal. Having studied the method behind the madness from afar, I’m convinced that Kanye can not only match ‘The Donald’ but comprehensively beat him. There’s no point pitting a guy like Donald Trump against career politicians. Not being a career politician is central to his pitch. To beat ‘The Donald’, you need someone who’s even more of a maverick than he is.

As best as I can tell, insults are a key element of Donald Trump’s election platform. In simple terms, he’s not afraid to ‘go there’, unless, of course, that place is Mexico. So far, he’s managed to insult just about everyone. To see other candidates largely constrained by convention is a bit like watching someone turn up to a gunfight with a slingshot. Kanye, however, would not be cowed. In fact, there’s a great tradition of insulting others in rap music. Donald Trump wouldn’t know what’d hit him, as Presidential aspirant West unloads a torrent of killer rhymes. Trump might be capable of flinging mud much like an orangutan does it’s own filth, but compared to Kanye, he’s a total amateur. If you don’t believe me, look at Twitter. It’s a scientific fact that Trump’s tweets look bland when you compare them to Kanye’s.

A key part of Donald Trump’s appeal involves talking about how awesome Donald Trump is. In an ideal world, effusive praise of this nature would come from other people. However, if other people aren’t willing to step up to the plate, then you’ve no choice but to do it yourself. If we were to be extremely generous, we might describe such blatant acts of self-aggrandisement as simply refusing to hide his light under a bushel. It might also be described as boasting. Having been left to blow his own trumpet in a way that would shame Miles Davis, Donald Trump deploys techniques to persuade the casual observer that such praise is coming from other people by frequently referring to himself in the third person.

Once again Kanye has him beat. Just like Donald Trump, rap music requires that you project an image of success. And of all the rappers who ever drew breath, Kanye is especially adept and pointing out precisely how fantastic he is. Donald Trump might brag about his business acumen, but he never wrote a song called ‘I Am A God’. In fact, if Kanye were here he would be quick to point out that he was only laying claim to being ‘a’ god rather than ‘the’ god and that this was a substantial act of restraint.

Kanye West is a better businessman. Consider the evidence: Donald Trump has alienated millions of potential voters. Kanye, on the other hand, understands that these are all people who might either vote for him or, if not, at least buy his album. Kanye West might say outlandish stuff, but it’s generally for publicity and he’s never threatened to build a wall that would drive Pink Floyd to the brink of despair.

I realise that Kanye is yet to throw his (no doubt) very stylish hat into the ring. But it’s not too late. In the event of a contested convention, a new contender could emerge. This is when Kanye should make his move. Rather than a fanfare, there’ll be the sound of a drum machine as Kanye emerges from the crowd. Trump might be expecting a battle for the nomination, but he’s ill prepared for a microphone fight.

I, for one, am genuinely looking forward to a Kanye West presidency. In particular, I await the moment in which the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize is knocked off the stage by an ebullient President West as he declares that the award really ought to have gone to Beyonce. But the best reason to look forward to Kanye West is simple and it’s this: he’s not Donald Trump. And, as a gesture that would completely unify the nation if not the entire planet, Taylor Swift for VP.

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