Heavy Metal and the Art of Happiness

It’s official: listening to heavy metal music makes you happy. Upon hearing the news I raced home and destroyed every album in the house by Angus and Julia Stone, Jack Johnson and every other surfing hippie that isn’t Jack Johnson but sounds exactly like him. I’ll admit that, for a moment, I felt fantastic. However, none of these albums were mine and their destruction – even if in the name of science – was somewhat controversial and so my sense of euphoria was short lived. Until now, I’d always thought the reason those guys in Metallica were so happy was because they’d just had a money fight in which they’d tossed wads of cash at each other, but it turns out it’s the music rather than the financial recompense that’s the cause of all this joy.
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The Great Public Holiday Fiasco

This madness must end. Once upon a time, public holidays meant something. Now they’re being handed out with all the sense of occasion and grandeur as third prize in a pub-raffle. Why, just the other week, we were forced to sit at home to wait out another one of these time-wasters. Don’t get me wrong; I like Bohemian Rhapsody as much as the next person, but telling everyone they can take the day off work to commemorate it seems a trifle over the top.
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