Why Democracy Should Be Served With Onions

Democracy was, for a time, quite a useful thing. But much like last year’s milk, it has gone seriously off and to catch the merest whiff is a startling affront to the senses. It pains me to say it, but democracy as we knew and loved it is ruined. I speak, of course, of the Victorian State election. In declaring that the democratic process has pretty much run its course, I’m not complaining about who beat who either on an individual or overall basis. Rather, I’m talking about something far more fundamental and important. It’s the very residue that binds communities together, the glue that is at the heart of our social cohesion. I speak, of course, of sausages.
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A Nod and a Wink

Is it ever too late to reinvent yourself? Like week-old bread or the pair of unwashed socks that fall behind the back of the couch and are discovered only upon moving out, I have become stale. It’s time to jazz things up a little. By ‘jazz things up’ I don’t mean speaking in an odd time signature before undertaking a twelve-minute solo that sends people to sleep, growing a goatee whilst wearing a black skivvy or even donning a beret indoors, but some mild kind of metamorphosis that makes life a little more interesting. They options are many and varied. I could always try and alter my physical appearance; lose a little weight, perhaps even up the exercise quotient in the faint hope that my t-shirts will soon struggle to contain bulging muscles rather than wobble like a plate full of trifle. But all that sounds like a lot of effort. There must be a simpler option.
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Deconstructing Degustation

When it comes to the culinary arts, I can put up with just about anything. I can tolerate ‘jus’ even though my heart longs to leap out through my chest and scream ‘pretentious!’. I can even put up with a wanton use of the term ‘reduction’. Heavens above, I can even turn a blind eye to things that have been ‘caramelized’ beyond recognition. When it comes to food, I can endure all sorts of chicanery. Anything, that is, except a dish that has been ‘deconstructed’.
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