A Beginner’s Guide to the Australian Senate

Rule 1: Get used to red. Outside of hell, nowhere has as much red as the Senate chamber. It looks like the work of the world’s laziest interior decorator. If it proves anything, it’s that sending the apprentice down to the shops to pick out a left-handed hammer can seriously backfire. The carpet is red. The walls are red. Even the desks are pretty much red. But here’s a tip – if you’re a little on the shy side and don’t want your ugly mug to appear on the news, wear red. It’ll be like you’re not even there. Granted, you’ll need to wear a red veil too, lest you should simply appear on screen as a discombobulated, floating cranium.
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How to Vitiate Your Curriculum Vitae

My first instinct was to panic. When news broke that Myers had dismissed a senior executive on his first day for a resume they regarded more a work of fiction than a statement of fact, I feared the worst. For upon being told that somebody’s CV is inaccurate, I am loathe to judge. Some may regard such documents as a sacrosanct regurgitation of times, places and events. I, on the other hand, consider my curriculum vitae to be something of a creative wonderland; one in which I can let my imagination run wild before sitting down for a short break and running some more. But if the tide has finally turned against unlicensed creative license, then allow me to take the initiative and set the record straight.
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