Month: September 2013

You can tell whether society is civilized by a great many things – its music, art and whether it can sustain a viable roller-derby competition. You can also glean much from the things a community builds – its temples, halls and so on. But the true character of a city is revealed not in its grand designs, its monuments or skyscrapers. You need to look closer to ground level. If you really want to understand a society, look at its toilets.
Continue reading “Great Thunderboxes of the New Millennium”

It’s here. After months of relentless, driving rain that has twice had me building my own Ark, we have finally turned the corner. The scent of fresh-cut grass fills the air. The sun lifts its sleepy head above the horizon before you’ve opened your eyes. The sound of birds fills the garden. Yes, spring has well and truly arrived. For some it’s a time for cleaning and for taking stock, but I see it differently. Spring, in my view, is the season of romance. As I break out the shorts and long socks, it’s time to indulge in a remembrance of things past and recall the great, lost love affairs of my youth.
Continue reading “Hope Springs Eternal for the Romance of the Damned”

Imagine it. There you are, minding your own business when, out of nowhere, the world’s media descends like rain, wanting to know everything about you. Not because you’ve done something spectacular or have discovered anything miraculous, but just for being yourself. It would be unnerving to say the least. But what might seem intrusive becomes downright insulting when the reason for all this unsolicited attention becomes clear – you have just been voted by a substantial margin the ‘world’s ugliest animal’. It would be difficult to know how to respond. Spare a thought, then, for Australia’s own ‘Blobfish’.
Continue reading “The Ugly Truth About Being Ugly”

So it has come to this – mankind’s endless quest to discover what lies beyond the bottom of the barrel has given us ‘twerking’. Never again will we be forced to ‘flash mob’, go ‘planking’ or perform the Harlem Shake because now we have something even stupider to do. Yes, it seems the fickle finger of fate is both pointed skywards and surrounded by two other fingers on either side as the letters ‘I’ and ‘Q’ are officially removed from the alphabet, pending a review.
Continue reading “Everybody Wants to Twerk (No, No. Not Me)”

Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others. Or so claimed Winston Churchill. Old ‘Chuggalugs’ Churchill might have thought he was qualified to speak from experience but I’ll politely disagree. I love the way that we, as a nation, go about the whole business; from the sausage sizzle right down to the ‘People’s forums’ in which impartial and undecided voters are shoved into a room to ask thoughtful, insightful questions whilst a twitter feed from blatantly partisan observers with tag names such as ‘Gransterman’, ‘The Nooger Man’ and the terrifyingly named ‘Thundernuts’, are broadcast below.
Continue reading “Idle Thoughts on Democracy”