Mongrel: A Love Story

We called him a mongrel, not as a slur against his character but for a lack of information. To this day I have no idea as to his constituent parts. For all I know, he could easily have been one part terrier, one part cattle dog and one part astrophysicist. Having decided to purchase our new pup from the Lost Dog’s Home, we had arrived knowing that the process was, more or less, a lucky dip. As we toured the floor, there was plenty of barking as animals bayed for attention, but of all the dogs we saw that day, he was the only one to look excited to see us. The choice was easy.
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What A Tangled World Wide Web We Weave

I like the Internet only when it does what I want, when I want. Call me callous, but I expect the World Wide Web to instantly cater to my every whim and passing curiosity, serving up all that I have demanded with no questions asked. If that sounds like the attitude of a despot, then feel free to register your objection with my help desk. I appreciate that this is incredibly unbalanced, but that’s the way I like it. In fact, it’s only because I know it won’t answer back that I’m willing to trust the Internet at all. But alas, things are changing.
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Doctor Teeth and the Eclectic Mayhem

Dr Craig Emerson is more than just the Minister for Trade. He’s also a lousy singer. Indeed, to judge by his efforts last week slaughtering the Skyhooks song ‘Horror Movie’, karaoke night in Canberra must be a dismal affair. To watch him perform, it was impossible not to be reminded of those hapless souls who used to turn up to the ‘Idol’ auditions, convinced that they were the greatest thing to happen to singing since Caruso gave the larynx a wobble, only to be humiliated on national television because they sounded more like David Caruso than Enrico. This was much the same, except that the humiliation was self-inflicted. Indeed, mockery from the press pack was notable for its absence. It is a sad day for the free media when no one feels free enough to start booing or lobbing over-ripened fruit in response to such a woeful performance.
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Sneaker Stomping and the Velcro Kid

Billy Joel once claimed it was ‘all about soul.’ He was almost right. It is, in fact, all about sole. Or, if not all, then certainly the best part of three quarters. You may not think about it all that often but, truly, the importance of quality footwear cannot be underestimated. As anyone who has ever felt the cold water of a puddle seep into his sock will tell you, it is only when you are without a good pair of shoes that you truly appreciate their value.
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