A Long Day’s Journey Into ‘Journey’

If there’s one thing that reality television has taught us, it’s how to squeeze five minutes of sheer, unadulterated entertainment into two hours. But if such programs have taught us anything else, it’s of the importance of ‘the journey’. Nobody gets thrown off these programs because their fellow contestants can no longer stand the sight of them or because they’re not up to it. Rather, they are eliminated as part of a ‘journey’. Presumably, it’s one in which the route takes you directly away from the gaze of the cameras and straight to the back seat of a waiting taxi.
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Dark Night of the Ferret

‘LOST! One ferret. Answers to the name of Tony.’ Whilst local light poles are littered with crucified pamphlets advertising everything from garage sales to school fetes to lost cats and dogs, ferrets rarely get a look in. Perhaps people feel you can only really say so much on a light pole. In fact, it’s true to say that most people have a carport rather than a garage, but you never hear of a carport sale. Such a declaration would, no doubt, spook the horses. In the same way, it’s fine to plaster a photo of some unfortunate feline far and wide in a plea for its prompt return, but you seldom if ever see anyone begging to be notified as to the whereabouts of their missing pet hairy-backed tarantula of short-nosed crocodile. The same is true of ferrets.
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The Ugly Truth In Toto

In its natural state, rock and roll is a very ugly thing. Sweaty, noisy and likely to leave a nasty mark on the rug that all the bicarbonate soda in the world simply can’t move, it’s the very opposite of pretty. Indeed, true rock music is practiced by those of a grizzled visage who – but for their ability to rock out – would only be of use to society for their ability to scare small children. The balance, however, has now tipped. Having seen the kind of adoration that even ugly people can inspire when accompanied by the right kind of musical backdrop, beautiful people have decided to muscle in on the action. This must be stopped – it’s time to get back to ugly.
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