Pro Forma Rejection Letter

PRO FORMA RESPONSE LETTER

 

(insert date)

 

(insert name and address)

 

Dear (insert first name)/ Mr/s (insert surname) / (insert serial number),

 

Thank you for sending us your manuscript for (insert name of genius manuscript).

 

We have read your manuscript and consider it:

 

(a) a work of indisputable genius,

(b) not quite right for our organization,

(c) a complete abuse of the English language we know and love.

 

Unfortunately, we cannot accept your manuscript in spite of:

 

  1. its obvious merit,

  2. its usefulness as a make–shift doorstop,

  3. its flammability.

 

This is because:

 

  1. we have a full list of clients / publications at present,

  2. a down-turn in the book market,

  3. the El Nino effect.

 

Please find enclosed with this correspondence:

 

  1. your manuscript which we are returning,

  2. a complimentary sticker and hat,

  3. a restraining order preventing you from attending our offices or writing to us again.

 

Of course, another organization may:

 

  1. feel completely differently,

  2. not bother opening the envelope to begin with,

  3. hunt you down in the name of good taste.

 

Good luck with your writing:

 

  1. and best wishes for the future,

  2. because you sorely need it,

  3. although that luck might best be spent elsewhere.

 

Kind regards,

 

 

(insert name / mark here)

 

 

 

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