Pro Forma Rejection Letter



(insert date)


(insert name and address)


Dear (insert first name)/ Mr/s (insert surname) / (insert serial number),


Thank you for sending us your manuscript for (insert name of genius manuscript).


We have read your manuscript and consider it:


(a) a work of indisputable genius,

(b) not quite right for our organization,

(c) a complete abuse of the English language we know and love.


Unfortunately, we cannot accept your manuscript in spite of:


  1. its obvious merit,

  2. its usefulness as a make–shift doorstop,

  3. its flammability.


This is because:


  1. we have a full list of clients / publications at present,

  2. a down-turn in the book market,

  3. the El Nino effect.


Please find enclosed with this correspondence:


  1. your manuscript which we are returning,

  2. a complimentary sticker and hat,

  3. a restraining order preventing you from attending our offices or writing to us again.


Of course, another organization may:


  1. feel completely differently,

  2. not bother opening the envelope to begin with,

  3. hunt you down in the name of good taste.


Good luck with your writing:


  1. and best wishes for the future,

  2. because you sorely need it,

  3. although that luck might best be spent elsewhere.


Kind regards,



(insert name / mark here)




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